Why Isn't Your “Good Leadership” Working?

January 7, 2026

Hi Reader

(Only a 3-minute read)

Happy New Year and all the best for 2026.

I want to talk about words I keep hearing from leaders.

Words to this effect: "I know what I should be doing. I've read the books. Done the courses. I understand the principles."

But then the rubber hits the road and it's like they've forgotten the lot.

I don’t believe these people are incompetent. But there is a massive gap between knowing leadership and doing it in ways that actually land with people.

You can be good "on" leadership i.e. present well, say the right things in meetings, perform the role convincingly etc. But being good "in" leadership is a different story. That's about what happens in the actual moments when someone's sitting across from you needing something you're not giving them.

This year, ‘Fine Lines’ is shifting. We’ll have less “I need to read this twice” theory, and more "here's exactly what to do differently starting tomorrow" editions.

Why, you might ask. Because I'm tired of watching smart people fail at implementation while their bookshelves & watchlists groan with leadership wisdom they can't translate into practice.

To kick off 2026, here are 3 practical pivots that you can implement to become more directionally correct with your actions.

Warning: Each one reads and feels wrong until you try it and each one works better than what you're doing now.

1️⃣ Stop Explaining Your Decisions. Start Explaining Your Thinking.

Say you've made a decision someone disagrees with. Your natural instinct is to defend it. You can’t wait to explain why you're right and that they're missing something.

And this backfires every single time.

When you defend your conclusion, you're telling them their judgment is wrong. However, when you explain your thinking process, you're showing them how you got there.

It’s a completely different conversation.

Maybe try to say this instead: "Here's what I was weighing up. Here's what I prioritised. Here's what I'm still uncertain about."

Notice what you're not saying? "Here's why this is the right answer."

How much time have you spent justifying decisions? Maybe even got you branded as defensive?

What if you started walking people through your reasoning instead; the trade-offs, the uncertainties, the things that kept you awake? They might not agree with you more but they might begin to trust your process, right?

People don't need to agree with your decisions. They need to understand your decision-making. That's what builds credibility, not being right.

2️⃣ When Someone's Underperforming, Ask What You've Failed to Provide.

You could be gearing up for a performance conversation with someone. You've prepared feedback on what they're doing wrong. All the evidence lined up. Clear examples. Specific behaviours that need to change.

Now, flip it completely.

Open with: “Honestly, I’m seeing some performance gaps. Before we discuss what you need to do differently, tell me what I've failed to provide that would've prevented those gaps.” How risky does that feel? It does sound like you're letting them off the hook.

You're not. You're doing something most leaders never do, that is, acknowledging that performance problems are usually system problems disguised as people problems. Maybe you weren't clear enough about expectations. Maybe they're missing resources. Maybe your feedback's been vague. Maybe the goal was unrealistic from the start. Maybe you made wrong assumptions prior to implementation.

When you own your contribution first, they stop defending themselves and start problem-solving. The conversation shifts from "why you're failing" to “here’s the root cause of the issue and here’s how we fix this together."

3️⃣ After Difficult Conversations, Check What They Heard. Not What You Said.

You've delivered tough feedback in your time, I’m sure.

You've been direct. Clear. Honest. Then the conversation ends and you both leave.

You think: “Yeah I handled that well. We’ll see some change now.”

They think: "I'm getting fired”, “They have it in for me”, “What the f@@k would he know?” or something completely unrelated to what you actually said.

This happens constantly because your words go through their filter, not yours. And their filter is shaped by insecurity, past experiences, uncertainty and whatever else may be happening in their life.

So when it comes to feedback, try this before the conversation ends: "Before we wrap, tell me what you’ve heard and understood. What are the main things you're taking away from this?" (Or some form of this that feels more ‘real’ or comfortable for you)

Then shut up and listen. You'll be amazed how often what they heard bears little resemblance to what you said. And you can correct it right there instead of spending weeks wondering why nothing's improving.

Checking understanding might feel like treating them like children, but inversely it treats them like adults by ensuring your communication landed as intended. Most leaders skip this because it feels awkward. The awkwardness is exactly why it works i.e. it prompts genuine clarity.

🚩The Implementation Issue🚩

None of this is complicated and yet all of it is uncomfortable.

That gap between knowing and doing is where most leadership struggles and grasps at straws. You, for sure, know what ‘good’ looks like. But for some reason doing it feels wrong in the moment.

Explaining your thinking instead of defending your decision? Feels vulnerable.

Asking what you failed to provide? Feels like weakness.

Checking what they heard? Feels pedantic.

Why not do what I suggest anyway? Because the feelings listed out just now are lying to you.

When was leading ever about feeling comfortable? You need to be effective. A lot of the time effectiveness often lives right on the other side of the discomfort you're avoiding.

Give even one of those pivots a go this week. And see what changes in what actually happens when you change things up a little.

P.S. If you're recognising the gap between what you know about leadership and what you're actually doing in the moments that matter, let's talk. Often, the most valuable thing isn't learning something new. It's having someone help you implement what you already know but aren't doing.