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TL/DR: The old motivational contract (authority + incentives = performance) is broken. The new one (belonging + autonomy + purpose = engagement) feels fragile and slow under performance pressure. Perhaps you don't need softer standards? Maybe you need a new system that upholds excellence while speaking a different psychological language. Here are 4 steps towards that.

(3-minute read)

What if your best player just walked out of a ‘feedback session’.

They’re not angry. Not defiant. Just...disengaged.

But but…you delivered the same developmental conversation that's worked for fifteen years.

Clear. Direct. Evidence-based.

But this time it landed like criticism. Not coaching.

Here’s the widespread leadership challenge no one is putting a name to.

I’ll try to shine a light on it.

I believe The Motivational Contract has flipped, and you admitting it feels like surrender.

What Leaders Say vs. What They Mean

What they say: "Gen Z needs more feedback."

What they mean: "I don't know how to uphold standards when attention spans, feedback sensitivity, and overall expectations have fundamentally shifted."

I really don’t believe you're struggling because you're behind the times. From conversations I’ve been having I think it’s because the entire psychological contract between authority and performance has been rewritten….and without your consent.

The old motivational architecture i.e. clear hierarchy, direct critique, delayed gratification etc, worked, in large part, because everyone agreed to the terms. Work hard. Accept tough feedback. Earn your place. Prove yourself over time.

That ‘agreement’ is in the bin.

Not because younger athletes and employees are weak. As I see it, it’s because the world that created that contract no longer exists.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Modern Motivation

At a recent seminar one EPL academy director told me: "I can't give the feedback that made me a professional player. Not because I'm soft. Because it doesn't work anymore. They shut down. Check out. Or their parents and agent call and kick off."

A yacht operations director here echoed the same: "My junior crew members need constant affirmation. One critical word from me, no matter how deserved, and they're updating their CVs. Meantime, client expectations haven't changed and they’re still demanding perfection. This stuff is a f$$king full time job now by itself! "

Look around you…CEOs worrying about scarce skills and management reporting attention-span challenges.

It certainly feels, looks and sounds like the old playbook is underperforming.

But nobody wants to admit the real problem: You're managing and leading humans with a firmware update you never received.

No Easy Remedy

The old contract was simple: Authority plus incentives equals performance.

Show up. Follow the plan. Do Your Job. Get rewarded. Climb the ladder.

Efficient. Scalable. Predictable.

The new contract is fragile, context-specific, and maddeningly slow to build: Belonging plus autonomy plus purpose equals engagement.

And engagement might produce performance. Eventually.

This isn't Paul Clarke theoretical philosophy. It's your daily reality.

You're trying to deliver commercial results under multi-angle scrutiny while simultaneously building psychological safety, fostering individual purpose, and honouring personal identity and ambition with conditions.

All while the clock is ticking. The board is watching. The competition isn't waiting.

Feel exhausted?

It’s no wonder.

Hidden Traps

Trap 1: Treating This as a Communication Problem

I’m not sure better feedback techniques are enough. I believe that you need a different motivational operating system.

Saying things more carefully doesn't solve the underlying issue: Many of today’s athletes or employees are optimising for different outcomes than you assume.

You're optimising for excellence through resilience. Fair enough, that’s worked for ages. But know too that they're optimising for wellbeing through validation.

Neither is wrong. But they're oil and water….incompatible without conscious redesign.

Trap 2: Blaming Generational Weakness

Every generation thinks the next one is softer. That’s a given.

But every generation is wrong.

What's changed isn't resilience. That’s a handy reach. I see that it’s the psychological contract about what authority can demand and what individuals want to give (or owe?) in return.

People generally don’t lose the ability to handle pressure through generations.

But they might have lost the belief that accepting your pressure is the price of opportunity.

Trap 3: Waiting for the Problem to Fix Itself

"They'll toughen up when reality hits."

It’s a phrase that’s uttered a lot (or some form of it). I think it’s unhelpful.

Except reality has already hit. And people left. For another club. Another company. Another leader who speaks theirlanguage.

Who can afford to lose top talent while waiting for them to conform to an outdated system??

Escape Velocity

Now, I’m not suggesting you abandon standards. However I do think you need to rewrite how standards get upheld. There’s a few steps to this

Step 1: Name the Shift Out Loud

Stop pretending the old ‘contract’ still works. Tell your people out straight: "The way I learned to perform isn't how you'll learn to perform. Let's figure out what works for you…..within non-negotiable performance standards."

That’s modern day strategic adaptation.

Step 2: Separate Standards from Methods

Your performance standards can stay high; nothing wrong with that. But your delivery methods must flex and be malleable.

Non-negotiables: Factors like work quality, preparation level, professional commitment.

Negotiables: How you communicate expectations, deliver feedback and build accountability.

Step 3: Build Motivational Literacy

It’s time to stop assuming you know what drives each person.

Involve them…ask them.

E.g. "What makes you feel valued here?" "What kind of feedback helps you improve?" "What drains your energy?"

I’m thinking of two Luxury hotel GMs in Mallorca who’ve mastered this approach with high-net-worth guests. They’re adjusting service delivery while maintaining five-star standards.

You’re likely not running a hotel but you can apply the same principle to your people.

Step 4: Create Earned Autonomy

The new contract craves autonomy. But we both know that autonomy without competence is chaos.

You’ve got to build a system. Something along these lines: Demonstrate mastery at Level 1. Earn more freedom at Level 2. Lead others at Level 3

In this fashion you recognise and honour their need for independence while protecting your need for standards.

1 Question You're Avoiding

Here’s one that might sting.

What if the problem isn't them?

What if it's your unwillingness to lead differently than you were led?

Do strong, aspirational leaders cling to methods that worked in different conditions in different eras? No, they adapt and evolve while protecting what truly matters: excellence, commitment, and results.

The motivational contract has flipped…I think that’s clear and not up for debate.

Your choice is simple: Rewrite it consciously or watch your best people leave for leaders who already have.

Which will you choose?

P.S. If this rings true with you then we could have an interesting conversation. For sure this is work you have to do alone..but you don’t have to do it on your own. My work is focused on being the quiet ally you need to help turn you the page and craft a new era. One where the people may change but where performance is paramount. Send me an email anytime to paul@theleaders.coach.

P.P.S In the next 6-8 weeks I’ll release my 2^nd online course on the Udemy Education Platform…”Fearless Feedback” will bring you a simple, yet hugely effective, feedback delivery model called The R3 Method. Grounded in research and practical experience I’m confident it will life your feedback approach, delivery and results to a higher plane. More soon…but if you’d like an early taste of the first module when it’s recorded then drop me an email to paul@theleaders.coach to join the waitlist.

Watch this 1-minute 'Leadership Habit' Short...

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Thank you for being part of the Leaders Coach community. The work on how to lead better is something you have to do alone. But you don't have to do it on your own. Onward and Upward, Paul Clarke

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